UNCOOL: Linking your running app to Facebook

Posted on August 21, 2013 by


We all like a bit of recognition for hard work…

For example, raising money for charity – that’s GREAT! Everyone should know about that. Or, finally getting the job you deserve after years and years climbing the shit-stained ranks. I can absollllllutely understand why anyone would feel the urge to get up on a rooftop somewhere and announce that sort of achievement to the world, digitally or other. I’ll add to that list engagements. Hell, even the most embittered humans alive get a heart flutter when ‘I SAID YES!’ appears on their newsfeed.


…broadcasting to everyone on Facebook, VIA A RUNNING APP, how many kms you’ve run today????? W.t.f.




If you do this, please ask yourself: who can benefit from this? Is it entertaining? Does it give anything back to the community? Am I encouraging others to go for a run or putting them off? And most importantly, does this make me look like a needy tosspot?

Publishing your personal records for distance, calories burned, and uphill climb really is the single most irritating shit-show of ‘netiquette’ neediness this world will ever see, beating anything I’ve ever seen on Instagram. Even Mutya from Sugababes’cleavage shots.

I HATE it. I hate it so much I could bash myself over the head with a plate. I just don’t understand how people can’t see how it comes across? What it looks like. Sure, running is really on trend atm, especially in London because it’s warmer than usual and people love parks and losing weight, but why not just go for a run, finish, smile about it and take it to the grave with you?

Just imagining people, actual peers, linking these running apps up to Facebook and Twitter makes my bum wink.
It is literally up there with letting people know what songs you’re listening to on Spotify which is heeeeeeeinous and very dry.

Nobody, not even your parents, cares about what songs you’re listening to on Spotify. Unless, of course, you are an authority on good music in which case you’re likely to have a blog or a music column people can follow. People say – ‘Oh! I didn’t realise my Spotify was connected to Facebook!’ But that’s bullshit. You’re listening to music you think’s cool and you want everyone to know about it. GARTH BROOKS??!! THE SATURDAYS??!! No. No.

Put simply, Facebook is not the platform to let people know what you are up to RIGHT THIS SECOND. Especially if it’s something as banal as running, listening to music or playing Candy fucking Crush. Do you want to know how hard my stools are? It is the same. *thinks* Yes, it’s the same.

As they say, rant over.

*If you publish your running times on Facebook and don’t agree with me, feel free to comment.


Posted in: UNCOOL