UNCOOL: Dissing BLACK SWAN in a LOUD voice

Posted on January 24, 2011 by

0


Mine and my friends’ Black Swan experience was almost destroyed last night by an incredibly irritating woman at the Soho Curzon. Most will agree that the very last thing anyone wants to hear at the final fade to grey moment of an intense film such as Black Swan, when your heart is just beginning its journey back down to your chest having lodged itself in your throat during the entire film, are these words:

“THAT WAS THE SHITTEST BLOODY FILM I’VE EVER SEEN”

WOMAN! You CANNOT do that. We were all still in ‘the moment’ and you, you with your mental and inappropriately timed outburst forced us to look at one another in disbelief when we ought to have been contemplating the ambiguity of the last few scenes. Where did you learn to watch films – THE ZOO??? I HATE YOU.

ALSO, before the film started, I had to practically prize your arse off my hand because you sat down in the seat I was saving for my friend. Did you not hear me when I said “sorry, I’m saving this seat for my friend”? Oh my god, I wish I had the guts to pull my own hair out about this.

.. and ANOTHER thing. You’re probably the kind of woman who believes that by stocking your fridge up with loads of organic shit from M&S you’re a better cook than your friends. Well you’re not. You’re a shit cook.

Black Swan is ace. Go see it.

Posted in: COOL