COOL: Valentine’s Day (keep reading to win a sex toy)

Posted on January 19, 2011 by


If you’ve got someone to cuddle on Valentine’s Day, you might find this interesting.

If not, then I’m sorry, but here are some evil products and activities couples buy for each other in order to hide the cracks in their relationship  … (and cos’ they love each other up too)

London soul-stress and general cool person, Jessie Ware, is bringing out her new single ‘Valentine’ on the 14th Feb. Timely. I am a massive bellend for not including this rather wonderful Valentine’s treat in my original post because rather aptly, it’s coming out on heart-shaped vinyl. Yeah. Gwan gyal.

Listen to ‘Valentine’ here <3

The Queen eats these. What’s more romantic than that?

The BFI will screen a couple of films on Valentine’s night.  One is the heartwarming (and groin-numbing) Brokeback Mountain. The one with J.G and H.L when they realise they’re gay for each other and have violent sex in a tent. Thinking about it, if your date hasn’t already seen this then they are uncool! Just thought you should know. Mon 14 Feb 20:20 NFT2

Imagine marrying your long-term boyfriend and falling in love with another woman, like, immediately after? Imagine You And Me is the perfect film for a lesbian Valentine’s Day. Like what you’re doin’ BFI. Mon 14 Feb 18:20 NFT2

Ahhh ‘love’ merch. Bit weird buying stuff like this on a normal day but on Val’s Day, spruce the flat up a bit with things that say ‘love’ ‘forever’ ‘please don’t leave me’ etc. This cushion’s only £6 at Store Twenty One.

Just go with it, alright. This rose bud cushion is nice! And it’s £8 also at Store Twenty One.

Do dinner at Viajante in Bethnal Green. It just won a Michelin star which means it’s bloody good. Apparently it’s a bit eccentric and you get what you’re given (there are no menus, see). Great for the indecisive. Tasting menus are £25 for three courses (lunchtime), £60 for six, £75 for nine or £85 for 12. Pretty sure most people would go for six courses but it depends, really, on how deep your love is. Lagoon or puddle? (020-7871 0461)

After all that red wine, there are a few ways Valentine’s night can end, but it would be a massive shame (or not so massive) if one of you (him) couldn’t, you know, seal the deal.

Courtesy of Sh! sexy-time shop, EIC is giving away cock rings! Actually they’re called Lifetime Love Rings cos’ you’ll be shagging till eternity. To win one leave your answer to the following asinine question in the comment box below. Best ones win!

Q: Whose life should Katie Price destroy next and why?

Posted in: COOL