COOL: First dates / UNCOOL: Michel Roux Jnr

Posted on March 20, 2014 by

Last week a friend introduced me to First Dates…

Why I wasn’t watching it before is a mystery. I think I heard about it and assumed it was scripted!?

If there’s one thing that makes my chin twitch it’s actors playing awkward, nervous people looking for love. That’s what reality TV’s there for guys!

And so, First Dates is real people on real dates and I’m obsessed with nearly everything about it. Except the lighting. Ever heard of a dimmer switch Channel 4???

If you’re watching it too – do you cry a bit when people who’ve been single for years, hit it off? I do. Do you also cry when someone returns from a date all fizzy and flustered at the prospect of a potentially bright and happy future after all, then the date they’ve just been with walks in, sits down and says in no uncertain terms – NAH. yeah I do too.

I could talk about each episode, epic moment by epic moment, but that’d be boring, so I’ll just mention some of my favourite returning characters.

Corinne – what a gal
corinneAhhhh Corinne! Why men aren’t forming an orderly queue to be this lady’s Mr Right, just proves the good ones often get overlooked. Honest, lol, hot – but low in self esteem and mega down on herself, Corinne’s in need of a decent, non-judgmental guy. She thought she’d found love with good-looking stripper Zane (he w’hawt) but sadly it was unrequited. Cue teary piece to camera which had the nation’s hearts melting. Zane did admit to getting all his confidence from “self-help books” though which is a tad on the cray side so, probs for the best no? I think something grand is round the corner for Corinne and if not.. if you’re reading this Corinne, I’ll go out with you.



Mostafa – what a prat
Wow. This kid is literally swimming in his own bullshit. I love Mostafa because he’s so desperate to be a lothario. With every breath, the guy’s begging for a slap. In a peculiar attempt at reverse psychology, Mostafa rates dates out of 10 to their faces, then giggles uncontrollably with his tongue out. He reckoned Megan – who walked in with lipstick all over her teeth – was a “4 or a 5” yet was shocked when she wanted to punch his lights out. We weren’t impressed much by the lipstick on her teeth but she definitely deserved higher than a 4.  “What’s a 10 then?” asked Megan, tripping head first into Mostafa’s booby trap. “You’re looking at it” he scoffed. Course he did. And the award for best programme goes to First Dates on Channel 4.

Regan – what a pout
"y'aaariiiite??"First Dates is really, like, really  funny but it can also be really sad too and Regan is one character who has us lolling in the aisles one minute and the next – I’m all asunder. “why did you do that to your face?” I yell. She’s clearly beautiful under all that botox. With a pout the size of an actual window ledge, Regan’s all about looking like a boss and treating men like shite. She’s been hurt… hurt reeeeeal bad , so puts her guard up big time.  “I’m not a NASS person” she says, twinkling. Yeah right! Pull the other one.  Massive softy alert. “Coq Au vin? What the FOCK is Coq Au Fuckin’ Vin?”  and so course too. Love her.


Jonny – what a filth pot

It’s not everyday you see a posh Alan Carr lookalike talk dirty to an older woman in a surgically lit pop up restaurant, but Jonny is well up for a bit of kink. He’s a straight talking MA student (2 MAs), with no nonsense intellect and if you’re not as bright as him, he doesn’t give a fuck. Brilliant. That’s what’s so great about Jonny. He aint no snob, and from what we’ve seen so far, quite fancies a tryst with a woman from the other side of the tracks. I hope he  finds love this series.



Here’s a pic of Zane just because

Fit Zane … Soz Corinne.

Who’s your favourite?

First Dates is on at 10pm on Wednesdays on Channel 4.

A side-note on the devastating Masterchef news …


A lot of people have been in touch to find out where I stand on Michel Roux Jnr’s sudden departure from  Masterchef The Professionals. Well now that I’ve had time to digest the magnitude of his (selfish) decision and how it’s going to affect all of us, I’m ready to speak. All I am willing to say, as his biggest fan, is that I’m not happy about it. Not one bit.

I interviewed Michel for Observer Magazine in December and he didn’t say ANYTHING about leaving Masterchef at the time. In fact he sounded in a good place. A bit tired maybe but, on the whole, content.
However, as we all know, Masterchef The Professionals is a demanding show – I certainly can’t have too many commitments  when it’s on – and MRJ is not a man lacking in sense. Therefore, painful as it is, I’m just going to have to accept it. He’s gone.  That’s all I’m prepared to say for now. Thanks.

Posted in: COOL, UNCOOL