There are so many ways to piss off the british public…
There’s taking part in a reality show, setting fire to something older than 1900, chucking a cat in a bin when no-one’s looking, or if you’re aiming for Bleakley-esq hate, appearing on every TV show in existence. But, honestly, you needn’t try so hard.
Pioneering Lord Sugar (Amstrad-Apprentice-Limousines-Spurs-Essex-Dosh fame) has come up with a new and highly effective way to buckle in the popularity stakes. How? By plugging his shit on Twitter during the two minutes silence for Remembrance Day.
This would only have been mildly heinous had 1) it not been during the two minutes silence, and 2) he not called for no tweeting from his 128,656 idiot followers (inc. me) moments before it began.
In the little passage of time between silent minute 1 and silent minute 2 , Lord Sugar (pronounced ‘SHUGA!’ sounds like ‘LOADSA’) posted TWO tweets plugging something or other that he’s doing, bringing the jaws of all those silent followers of his to their office floors.
Everyone went mad including Kirstie Allsop who refused to believe it was what L-Shugs claimed, ‘a glitch’. Like all respectable Lords, to come closer to resolving the feud, he called her fat and now they officially want to kill each other.
I’m not going to harp on about how Alan Sugar’s on a perpetual fuhrer-like power trip because, frankly, I love The Apprentice. For the benefit of the morally advanced people around me, I used to say it was a wretched show. Now older, stupider, I don’t care who knows I’m addicted – I’m the normal one.
BUT, I reckon he ought to bladdy be more careful. Whether it was a glich or not, whether it was Lord Sugar tweeting or Yasmina, whoever is in charge of this tiny man’s twitter account needs to register their hands with a vocational course on Reticence. While we’re on the subject of Lord Sugar’s tweets (can’t believe this man is a Lord), I’m not quite at the point where I want to ‘unfollow’ yet so, I dunno, jazz them up a bit yeah! Million pound giveaways would be a very noble start.