Browsing Archives of Author » «

UNCOOL: The 5:2

January 23, 2013


“The 5:2” is a stupidly on-trend gong-show that involves eating basically nothing for two, yes TWO, days a week.  And then eating whatever the slutty fuck you want for the other five. This diet, my properly satiated friends, is SO UNCOOL. Two times a week I’m forced to watch the BF count out sugar snaps […]

COOL: Masterchef: The Professionals

November 28, 2012


‘Only an elite group of chefs hold two Michelin stars in the UK. Michel Roux Jr. is one of them….’  ‘Two lamb one fish gone?’ ‘OUI!’ And so begins our Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night fixation here at EIC towers. Because Masterchef: The Professionals, my flexible friends, is BACK BACK BACK. And has been […]

COOL: Dallas (2012)

November 26, 2012


Dallas is BACK! Y’remember Dallas – that awful 80s American soap opera that was on for YEARS and featured just about every storyline in the history of mankind: marriages, adultery, oil, babies, divorce, death, incest, embezzlement, cancer cancer cancer, mass murder, YOU’RE MY SISTER?!, more marriage, cancer… Guaranteed, I never watched it either. But it’s been […]

COOL: Solange

November 9, 2012


Holy ..gosh! Beyonce’s sister Solange has suddenly become very, VERY #COOL. Don’t believe me?! I can’t say I’m surprised. Her name does rhyme with flange after all. Unfortunate. But think about the ravenous, foaming-at-the-mouth pack of little siblings who’ve tried and failed to make it on the back of their celeb brothers and sisters’ success. Jamie […]

COOL: The Great British Bake Off

October 12, 2012


The Great British Bake Off is everywhere. You can’t open a single newspaper or innocently surf the web without seeing a picture of Paul Hollywood holding a freshly baked latticed sausage roll. This man is gunning for world domination, I tell you. He won’t be happy until we’re actually living in gingerbread houses and sleeping in […]

COOL: Tonkotsu, W1

September 26, 2012


words: tomek mossakowski Tonkotsu. Bless you! This is the joke I use every time someone mentions Tonkotsu, the new, hip ramen shop that’s right in the middle of Soho. What’s ramen? Japanese noodles in pork bone broth. Is it COOL? Yes. Why? Cos it’s delicious. The menu is small: you can have 3 broths, traditional, spicy or […]

UNCOOL: American (PIE) Reunion

July 10, 2012


words: tomek mossakowski   Oh. My. Gawsh. American Reunion, a.k.a. American Pie 4, is terrible. I mean, really bad. It’s the fourth and final (woo-fuckin’-hoo) installment of the American Pie franchise and unless you’re a total moron, or Stifler himself, you’ll hate it. It’s a shame really. The first American Pie was a slice of hilarity […]