Such is the spectacular grunting noise of Maria Sharapova, who has become ultimately COOL once again.
Why?! ‘Cause she’s such a survivor.
MazzaShazza, or maybe ShayShay ‘Pova, we haven’t decided yet, is a comeback queen – something we LOVE. Like Kylie, she’s strutted right back onto the scene in buttock-revealing clothing and with some ‘tude.
Except she wasn’t in the video to Spinning Around, no, it was this Saturday, Roland Garros, a.k.a. the French Open.
Beating I-talian Sara Errani with a ‘talk-to-the-racket-cause-your-serve-ain’t-working’ 6-3 6-2, ShayShay has defied critics and haterz. She’s now won every Grand Slam title and has reclaimed that No. 1 position after years of shoulder injuries and being written off as nothing but a frustrating grunter.
Her win meant tonnes. Tonnes to her, tonnes to ladies’ tennis (which is getting stale) and yeah, tonnes to women all around the world.
“But I hate the noise she makes!” Oh please – get over it. ALL women players are currently screamin’, whinin’, urgh-ing and squeakin’ these days. Guess who made it COOL? You guessed it. Mazzle Shazzle-Pozzle.
There’s now some terrible noises out there on the court, beginning with Errani herself who sounded more like Super Mario than a tennis player: WOO-PAH! Woooo-PAH!!!
And Azarenka. She doesn’t even grunt with style, she just whelps like a lost foal. Just listen to this and fight the urge to slap her (don’t, you’ll break your screen).
Clearly someone needs some vocal training off our Maria Shake-it-pova.
The best thing about all of this is that Maria coulda stopped. Modeling? Check. Advertising campaigns? She’s on ’em. Money? Ka-ching.
No, this girl loves her tennis and has fought her way back up top, past butchy bitches (Williams sisters), whiney one-timers (Azarenka) and randoms (Caroline Woziacki – who?).
So go for it Maz’Shaz PoPo. We love you.
Am I mad? Hate Maria? Let us know and follow more grunts on twitter: @tomekmoss