COOL: Non-Alcoholic Beer

Posted on April 18, 2012 by


words: Tomek Mossakowski
(Before you read this please know – EIC is not sponsored by BECKS) 

*Tsssssssssk-POP* That’s the sound of my non-alcoholic beer drinking cherry

That’s right, y’all. I’m sayin’ NON-alcoholic beer is COOL. *waits*

And, durrrrr, course it doesn’t have SQUAT on real beer. But let’s face it chaps and chapettes – real beer can be a lil’ too COOL sometimes. So cool that:

1. I have no money

2. I should have been taller after adolescence

3. I once made out with an Iranian drug baron

Booze and me go WAY back, we do. I’ve got some ace drunken stories and at least two hospitalizations under my belt.
So how did I come to this?! Well, this idiot girlfriend of mine who in fact edits this blog, bought a SIX-pack of BECKS Blue by mistake over the weekend and had the cheek to leave it in my fridge in disgust.

Come the beginning of the week, I was dealing with that Monday Morning Booze Itch. I opened the fridge to find a manky old spring onion, coffee granules all over the place and the portentous BECKS Blue.

So I went for it! And let me telllllllll you …

1. There ain’t a whole lotta difference between BECKS Booze and BECKS Blue. They both taste RANK! (that’s right, an exclamation mark after upper case.)

2. Surprisingly, I got that first sip rush! The one where a whole night of possibilities FLASHES before your eyes in an instant

3. I also felt just that little bit better about myself *sniff*

Now hear me: I’m gonna keep boozing real booze. So much in fact that I’ll probably end up pickling myself.
BUT we’re all tryin’ to cut down right? And there’s an occasional place for non-alcoholic beer, like there’s a place for semi-skimmed milk, low-fat Philly and light mayo.

Don’t diss it before you try it, yeah?

What do you think? Am I nuts?! Let us know @everytingiscool @tomekmoss

Posted in: COOL