So I was 50% right. Jordan is straight. But Ben is gay.
And what a gay! In my defence if I had seen yesterday’s episode I would have NEVER claimed he was straight. Ben mincing about in his waiter’s apron was the absolute campest thing ever in the history of mankind.
His twin brother, Sam, is still STRAIGHT though. I promise.
And Jordan is outta there. He was, in fact, just a poor hetero man who’d been dumped into the most ridiculous situation ever. He’s still BO-RING though. I was right about that. Which means I was actually, like, 75% right… OK??
Now there are four boys left.
We know that one is a GAY (see last week’s SPOILER article), and we also know that he happens to be a filthy, cheating, conniving gay at that. (Breathe, count to ten, my anger is a dog turd, I simply step over it).
Unfortunately, I think Cara will choose him. I think she will be lead down the garden path, hand-in-gay-hand, and end up with exactly ZERO dollar. It doesn’t matter how much we scream ‘NO BITCH NO!’ at the television.
Unless she chooses Danny.
And this is what we want. We want Danny to win, because he is STRAIGHT. I was wrong before. I admit it. I wanted him to be gay so bad. My judgement was clouded by his nipple bar (not a ring, FYI) and complete lack of spelling ability (how cute? SO cute).
If this were Big Brother, I’d tell you to pick up the phone and start voting now. But it isn’t, it’s Playing it Straight, so don’t be dialing any numbers.
Instead, just pray. Pray to the Gods of Gay that Cara chooses our Danny.
<3 our Danny.
And in the meantime, get to know the amazing Troubador, Gary Albert Hughes. We love his songs and his name is fun to say. Gary Albert Hughes.
Oh and I still think Dean is GAY.
Join the debate @everytingiscool