COOL: Maria Sharapova and her grunt

Posted on June 11, 2012 by




Such is the spectacular grunting noise of Maria Sharapova, who has become ultimately COOL once again.

Why?! ‘Cause she’s such a survivor.

MazzaShazza, or maybe ShayShay ‘Pova, we haven’t decided yet, is a comeback queen – something we LOVE. Like Kylie, she’s strutted right back onto the scene in buttock-revealing clothing and with some ‘tude.

Except she wasn’t in the video to Spinning Around, no, it was this Saturday, Roland Garros, a.k.a. the French Open.

Beating I-talian Sara Errani with a ‘talk-to-the-racket-cause-your-serve-ain’t-working’ 6-3 6-2, ShayShay has defied critics and haterz. She’s now won every Grand Slam title and has reclaimed that No. 1 position after years of shoulder injuries and being written off as nothing but a frustrating grunter.

Her win meant tonnes. Tonnes to her, tonnes to ladies’ tennis (which is getting stale) and yeah, tonnes to women all around the world.

“But I hate the noise she makes!” Oh please – get over it. ALL women players are currently screamin’, whinin’, urgh-ing and squeakin’ these days. Guess who made it COOL? You guessed it. Mazzle Shazzle-Pozzle.

There’s now some terrible noises out there on the court, beginning with Errani herself who sounded more like Super Mario than a tennis player: WOO-PAH! Woooo-PAH!!!

And Azarenka. She doesn’t even grunt with style, she just whelps like a lost foal. Just listen to this and fight the urge to slap her (don’t, you’ll break your screen).

Clearly someone needs some vocal training off our Maria Shake-it-pova.

The best thing about all of this is that Maria coulda stopped. Modeling? Check. Advertising campaigns? She’s on ’em. Money? Ka-ching.

No, this girl loves her tennis and has fought her way back up top, past butchy bitches (Williams sisters), whiney one-timers (Azarenka) and randoms (Caroline Woziacki – who?).

So go for it Maz’Shaz PoPo. We love you.

Am I mad? Hate Maria? Let us know and follow more grunts on twitter: @tomekmoss

Posted in: COOL